What if you spent your entire life focusing on being a good person, only to find out you're capable of having evil thoughts?
How would you react?
Who would you tell?
What would you do?
For me, I freaked out. It scared the living shit out of me.
I was in a crisis.
I had visions of harming my family and I knew that was not right. So I did what I had to do:
I reached out for help.
Mental health professionals always say “Please seek help when you’re having homicidal and/or suicidal thoughts”, but they never say what happens to you when you do.
For me, I was hospitalized for nearly three weeks and a civil restraining order was placed upon me by my family for a year.
Don’t get me wrong, my decision to get off my meds was what led me to this point of my life and I accept full responsibility as well as the consequences of my actions. However, what does this do to the person who’s going through similar problems and sees what happens to me?
How does my experience contribute to rewarding individuals who CHOOSE to do the right thing of seeking help? I fear that those who suffer, will see what happens to me and choose to hold on to the pain themselves.
I want them to know that despite all of these setbacks, I am happy with where I’m at. I truly am.
I know now that my problems started BEFORE the decision I made to stop taking my meds. It started when I decided to live a life not based on my values.
Since 8/27/23, I’ve been living based on my values and I can assure you that I love who I am because I KNOW I’ve been doing the right thing every step of the way.
If you know you need help and are stressed out about anything, PLEASE seek help. UNPACK why you feel the way you do. UNPACK why you DO the things you do. Get to know the real you.
I recently made a video about how one can learn everything from everything. Click HERE to watch.