May 15, 2016 Ramble #1

Every once in a while i'll do a writing exercise by just writing non-stop for about 10 minutes.  Since I've been having writers block I'll go back to it right now.

The timer just started.  Now I'm off to the races.  So Every once in a while I'll just write the same thing I just did in the beginning.  God that is rediculous.  Is that even how you spell ridiculous?  No it isn't.  Because the second time I spelled ridiculous the dotted red lines did not appear under the word.  Why can't there be a dotted red line under people who are just wrong.  That way you know you can avoid them from a distance.

Distant relationships are weird.  My wife and I are kind of doing that right now.  We've been separated for about seven months since she joined the military and things have been pretty smooth.  Like it's like I'm married, but it's also like I'm single.  So whenever you feel like you need a break from your marriage, just have your partner go on a deployment! That will save the relationship!  Well at least it will extend the honeymoon phase.  We've been married for almost seven years and we have been apart for about 2.5 years total.  Totally helped out our marriage.  

Not to mention, we don't have any kids.  I don't think I could even have kids...i mean I could fill that pussy up with my dickkkkk juice but would I want kids?  No.  People tell me, well having pets is a good way to know if you want kids or not.  Which is great, because having pets has taught me that not only do I not to have kids, it also taught me that I get angry quickly.

Like whenever my dog Daisy (lab mix) misbehaves at the park, I seriously want it to die.  It's like JESUS CHRIST!  Why can't you behave?  That's not your ball Daisy!  Quit taking other dogs toys!  I mean i understand they don't speak english because dogs are dumb sometimes, but it gets really annoying.  Not going to lie, sometimes I want to feed my dog a handful of hershey kisses.  She would be dumb enough to eat it too.  She eats shit for christ sakes!  Why WOULDN'T She eat chocolate?  I mean I know I sound harsh right now, but it's just really annoying sometimes.  But then whenever she gets tired from the park she'll come up and lay next to me on the bed.  It looks really cute.  It's adorable.  Then she yawns and her breath smells like shit and I immediately get annoyed again.

Too bad she can't be like my other dog Roxy.  Roxy is a sweetheart.  She is obedient, loving, caring. However she keeps getting sick.  Like ALL THE TIME.  She is basically a bubble dog.  We had her take an allergy test to see what she's allergic to and the results came back "Everything" My dog is ALWAYS sick.  We have to buy her special hypoallergenic food which has one source of carbs, one source of protein, and one source of "really expensive".  Sometimes again, i just feel like giving her chocolate to put her out of her misery.

But me and my wife love them both.

Times up.